Letting Go of Your Secret Needs

Monk Mindset for Living Well

Monk Mindset 6

Seek Nothing to Find Everything: Detachment

Reflection on the Monk Mindset & Quote

Detachment is often misunderstood. It’s not about caring less. It's about holding what we possess – whether material or intangible – so lightly that we can let go when it no longer serves our greater mission of love. 

Each of us have our go-to attachments – things we think we need to justify our identity, our self-worth, or to just get through the day. We often think of attachments to material possessions such as money, clothes, food, or something else. However, the deepest attachments are often more inward – our status, how others perceive us, our achievements, control, the need to be liked, the need to assert our will. 

How often do we let our work become our identity? How much do we cling to our routines, titles, or goals, even when they no longer serve us or those around us? 

Much of my own journey into monastic life was learning to shed the layers of my ego that could only see themselves in light of achievements and accomplishments, instead of through the eyes of God. 

I eventually dropped everything to enter the monastery to become totally anonymous. To train in the school of simple love and service, which became part of my healing journey to a deeper confidence and self-understanding. 

Detachment can also be counterintuitive. Despite being accustomed to regular fasting and asceticism, Mother Teresa realized that she ought to forego these sacrifices to have more energy and presence to care for and serve the poor. In her work, she adapted her routine to the needs of others. She knew that love was more important than the idea of fasting. In a way, she sacrificed sacrifices in service of love.

Sometimes the noblest sacrifice isn’t the biggest, but rather that which conforms most to the needs of those around us.

Put It Into Practice This Week

Look within and identify one hidden thing that perhaps no one else knows about you that you cling to, that you think you need to feel valuable or worthwhile.  Look at this thing within you. 

Quietly, in your heart, invite God to help grow in freedom from this.

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