The Secret to Loving Well

Monk Mindset for Living Well

Monk Mindset 5

Choose Love: Love is Your Purpose

Reflection on the Monk Mindset & Quote

Thomas Aquinas, one the greatest philosophers and theologians of all time suggests here that love is fundamentally rooted in the will. OK, what does this mean?

This means that love may include emotions - when you emotionally deeply care for someone or experience being “in love with” them. However, Aquinas argues that the true test of love is in the will. The latin root for “will” is vol - where we get words such as “volition” or “volunteer”. It’s to volunteer to love someone, to choose to love – even, and especially when we don’t necessarily “feel it.” 

The other key piece of this phrase is “the good of the other”. 

We model authentic love when we seek “the good” of the other person, transcending our own interests. The good may include temporal things such as nourishment, housing, etc. But even more powerfully, the good of another person is his or her psychological, emotional, and, especially, spiritual well-being. 

So, love is really a choice. A choice often in the nitty gritty, daily decisions of life. To choose what’s good for the person in front of me. And then, to choose this again. And again….

Put It Into Practice This Week

Think of a relationship in your life in which you’re struggling right now. 

What is one thing you choose to do this week to will the good of that person? 

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