The Hardest Monastic Vow to Keep

Monk Mindset for Living Well

Monk Mindset 5

Seek Nothing to Find Everything: Detachment

Reflection on the Monk Mindset & Quote

People often ask me what the hardest thing to give up in the monastery was. I think they assume it's sex, and they want to hear me say that. 

Shortly after I entered, I remember a wise older brother telling me, “People think the hardest vow to keep is chastity. Actually, it's obedience.” 

To put this in context, we made three vows: poverty, chastity, and obedience. These vows made to God in front of the community were very serious commitments and formed the foundation of the monastic life. 

When I first heard him say that obedience was the hardest vow, I thought to myself, “Well, this old monk doesn’t know me ’cause chastity is definitely difficult.” But the longer I remained, the more I saw what he meant. I often wanted to do something different from what was asked of me. I had been a CEO before and I liked control and being right. 

I often did not want to clean the monastery toilets on Saturday morning, but I did it.

I didn’t really feel like getting out of bed at 5:30am for prayer, but I always did it. 

I would rather have stayed in my cell reading a book than join the same brothers for dinner every single night. But I always went. 

I learned that by being obedient – mostly expressed through being faithful to my daily duties and responsibilities – I surrendered my own will to God, the community and others so that we all flourished together.

Soon, it no longer remained a challenge. I just had the habit of going to prayer or joining the brothers for meals when I was supposed to. I began to taste freedom in this routine of doing what I was supposed to do in each particular moment of the day. 

I discovered that the hardest sacrifices are often giving up what you think you want. 

“Selflessness” became more than a platitude when I actually became obedient to the community. 

Put It Into Practice This Week

Close your eyes and look back at your responsibilities and duties from the past week.

What is one of your daily duties -- it could be at home, at work, in your personal routine – that you are not consistently faithful at doing?

What’s one practical thing you can do to be more consistent and faithful to that duty, responsibility, or obligation this week?

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