What to Do When Someone Unjustly Criticizes You

Monk Mindset for Living Well

Monk Mindset 2

Commit to Healthy Community: Community and Family

Reflection on the Monk Mindset & Quote

We can all think of a time in which we’ve been criticized or attacked for something we didn't do or someone misinterpreted what we said or did. 

When this occasionally happened to St. Teresa, she reminded herself to be grateful instead of indignant because she knew there are many more things she had done wrong that if the person actually knew those things – the person would probably criticize her even more. 

And if St. Teresa – a nun and saint could think this about herself – how much more can this apply to the rest of us.

This doesn’t mean that we should never defend ourselves or clarify if someone misunderstands us – indeed in many cases it’s appropriate and good to clarify a misjudgment, misunderstanding, or potential damage to a relationship.

However, St. Teresa’s insight here is primarily internal – instead of feeling vilified or unjustly treated, by reminding ourselves that we can be grateful the person doesn’t know all the things we’ve done, we become liberated to be less likely to harbor grudges or resentment toward the person, which can help to keep a relationship in tact in the midst of such criticism. 

Also, this attitude can help us to keep an even disposition when silently bearing the misjudgement or approaching the person to clarify the misunderstanding.

Put It Into Practice This Week

Think of one time where you’ve been misunderstood or criticized for something you didn't do or say.

Now imagine if that person knew things that you really did that you don’t want them to know about.

How do you feel in light of this?

What’s one thing you can do to help mend the relationship with the person – it could be kindly trying to clarify the situation or simply praying for that person in a hidden way or something else.

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